What makes a Londoner?

...and are Londoners born or raised?

Heredity has lost out over environment. It's not who your parents are but how you live, and London is working proof. After a period of living here, residents quickly adopt London habits. Being able to tick any three of the following London habits probably means you're totally assimilated and are now beyond help.

1. Exaggerated insincere politeness

2. The excessive use of sarcasm

3. An occasional bout of tipsiness, but can act sober when getting in a cab

4. Smiling indulgently at suburbanites up for weekend parties in angel wings

5. Taking secret pleasure there are still things to do on rainy Sundays

6. Knowing your way around the National Theatre or, God forbid, the Barbican

7. Under any circumstances avoiding Oxford Street

8. An ability to walk past protest meetings/street performers without stopping to gawp

9. Not rubber necking when passing the emergency services attending a incident

10. Knowing the location in a movie or worrying that you can't identify the shot

11. A predisposition to join the end of a queue and ignore other queuers

12. You know that Camden Passage is not in the same borough as Camden Lock

13. You buy theatre tickets at the theatre just before curtain up

14. You think people from Havering technically live in Essex

15. You know Theydon Bois isn't in Normandy but at the end of the Central Line

16. Someone makes a joke about the Spaghetti House Siege and you get it (and it is also an indication of your age)

17. You never mention a Uber within earshot of a cabbie

18. Knowing how to correctly pronounce Southwark

19. Enduring zero eye contact

20. An ability to fall asleep on the tube for 30 minutes and still manage to wake up just before the stop